You have probably heard of the newest buzz word in town that seems to be the solution to every single problem, and the answer to every failure.
The truth is, bad things don’t happen because we are not ‘aligned’. That’s a weird way of looking at life. We are trying to make the best of our lives and sometimes we fail, falter, meet roadblocks or life is getting in the way of your plans, because you get sick, or there is some major life event happening for you. It’s not that we can avoid all sources of pain. It teaches us what we need to know to evolve.
So when you hear something like “Oh, you didn’t succeed in your project? It must have been misaligned with your true calling.” please let it go immediately. Because this way of looking at alignment sounds ridiculous and remarks like above are not helpful at all.
However, there is a true part to being misaligned and the blockages in life. As I was living a severely misaligned life for a long time I experienced a lot of extremely hard situations, which I didn’t quite understand because I was constantly trying to work hard, do my best and make the best decisions I could possibly think of. However, things went awry and the last 3 years everything came down crashing down around me, relationship, work, everything at the same time. The only way to get through this mess (I thought) was to continue my old coping strategies of thinking things through, making lists, and fighting for a good outcome. Although I felt like I was doing the right things, and moving forward, the only thing that could make it all better was not holding on to striving and fighting the situations I was in, but letting go. I had to steer myself away from the things that were holding me back.
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Letting go sounds so easy. “Just let go and everything will work out fine!”
Well, eh… letting go isn’t an easy thing to do, because it isn’t an active verb, let alone the fear that comes along with it. When your life isn’t working out while you are busy planning, deciding, organising and coping, the scariest step to take is to let it all go. That’s just not something your mind can do actively – ah, well today I’m just gonna let it all go – that’s just not how it works. The more you want to let go, the harder it gets, the more anxious you get. That’s because ego wants to protect you and gets in the way. It starts screaming in your ear that you can’t, shouldn’t, all will go down in flames, and so on. It’s makes it impossible to hear the whispers of your heart, or to understand your gut’s language of intuition. The only thing you listen to is the fear, the scary thoughts and disastrous scenarios playing out in your head.
For me this wheel of negative thoughts, fear, obstacles, conflicts led to illness. My body started to protest, I became very tired and hyper at the same time, I couldn’t cycle without chest pain, I couldn’t breathe properly. My body was signaling to me that I had to change but I didn’t hear what it was saying. My body stopped me in my tracks by creating a situation which forced me out of it all. Because clearly, my mind/heart wasn’t going to take the steps.
There had been severe misalignment between my body, my mind, my heart and my Soul. Those are all different layers of our being and in order to be happy, healthy and fully functional as a human being they need to be aligned as much as possible. When we are tired, we need to rest. When we are hungry, we need to eat. When we are not hungry, we shouldn’t eat. This also means that when you are coping with chronic illness or a stressful situation you will have to align your plans, expectations and activities because there is a limitation somewhere in one of the layers. It sounds very simple but we’re largely overriding the signals in our modern lives. When we do that for a long time, one or more of the layers of our being will be complaining and acting up. We call this ‘symptoms’. We then start looking for a physical cause, but maybe it’s just a misalignment between the layers.
During recovery, I learned how to take care of my body and how to listen to it again. I had to reset myself and start from zero, bed rest in my case. And not beating myself up for being in this situation I created myself by pushing and striving and fighting. That took me a while to be honest, to let go of the fighting mindset, towards myself. Self care and compassion is the most important thing to do, especially when you are healing.
Letting go just happened. I don’t know when exactly.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…
~ excerpt of ‘She let go’ by Rev. Safire Rose
When I gave up fighting, stopped trying, took plenty of rest and healed my body, I truly allowed alignment to happen. The only way to do this is to listen to the signs of your layers and stop doing things that make you feel misaligned and miserable. If you check in with yourself daily, you will begin to notice. And then, one morning, you wake up, and you let go. Slowly, I began to feel subtle differences in what was working and what was going against the flow. My intuition began to show me the way. I felt overcome with joy, because I could see the light again at the end of the tunnel. In learning a new way of living, by listening and acting upon it, I ditched the old ways of being misaligned.
It’s not always easy and I still get sucked in by daily life but I am capable of pulling myself out of it. I recognise I’m not aligned anymore. For me that shows up as fatigue, tiredness, tension in my chest, breathing uneasy or just generally feeling ‘meh’ or emotionally dull. Noting this enables me to consciously make better decisions and take care of myself. I know it’s time to stop what I’m doing because I’m in a mode of striving instead of allowing, and it’s killing the flow of energy. And sometimes it just means going to bed at 8 pm to get some rest.
Do you want to find out more about your own state of alignment?
Click here to learn more about an e-book & worksheet I created on this topic: ‘How to live in Alignment’. It’s free for newsletter subscribers.