Full Moon in Capricorn – 9th July 2017

On Sunday July 9th 2017 the Moon will be opposite the Sun (a.k.a. Full Moon) at 6:08 CEST. I’m going to warn you, this one will be intense….

The astrological sign of this Full Moon is CAPRICORN or the Mountain Goat. Capricorn is all about structure, order, responsibility, perseverance and ambition. Don’t say to a Capricorn it can’t be done, they will show you. Never think a task is too boring, they will complete it. Nothing can stop a Capricorn from climbing up the mountain, step after step, rock by rock, it gets there.

But let’s not forget we are humans. And going to far, for too long, or too high, will cause imbalance and thus we may slip. Like me. I’m a Capricorn Rising (which means that Capricorn was the sign on the horizon at my time of birth) and I am very familiar with the Cappy energy of pushing through and completing seemingly impossible tasks and navigating extremely difficult life situations through discipline and structure. But when losing balance, we slip…. in my case leading to burnout. I wrote a blogpost on how to recognise burnout because it’s something that happens to so many of us nowadays and it’s my mission to raise awareness.

So, how will the energy play out during the coming Full Moon in Capricorn? Well, the Full Moon is always bringing emotions to the surface and there is a need for expressing and releasing them. And that’s not really a thing that Capricorn is at ease with. Capricorn is controlling and repressing emotions because it considers feelings a nuisance, a blocking factor on the road to results, and messing up plans and ambitions. With the Sun in Cancer (related to our inner Mother, need for nurturing care and expressing emotions) opposing the Capricorn Moon this can create great inner conflict and polarity. This Moon is also called Thunder Moon, and that says it all…

Two weeks ago during the New Moon in Cancer we set intentions around the theme of nurturing, compassion and self-care. We are going to need this over the coming days.

It is important to process and release the intense emotions that are coming up during this Full Moon weekend. You might feel blocked, it may help to take some time on your own to meditate and feel.
Due to the controlling mode of Capricorn, and the repression of emotions that comes along with it, be careful when connecting to others. It’s not unlikely that repressed emotions and inner conflict will try to find a way out. Protect yourself and the people you love by creating some Sacred Alone time. This enables you to navigate and release your emotions rather than acting out and hurting others. It will also protect you from people who are not honouring your personal boundaries. Remember, you are not alone in this, everyone is probably going through the same thing and polarity is never the answer.

Keep an eye on the well-being of children in your life. They are often an easy projection screen for the adults around them who are going through conflict and focussed on boundary setting. Children should not be the victim of these interpersonal dynamics, they deserve our nurturing, unconditional love and care, always.

Journaling might be a good way to unblock your feelings and to tune in to forgiveness. Some journaling prompts that could be helpful are:

• Where have I been too hard on myself or others?
• Where am I over controlling the outcome?
• Do I feel controlled by others? Where do I need to set boundaries in a loving way?
• In what areas are rules or ambition blocking connection to others?
• Where can I be more forgiving towards myself and others?

Try to bring as much balance as possible into your life, in order to prevent a rough nosedive from the cliff. This is especially important in work – career versus home – family related imbalances.

The nurturing Mother within

When I’m in my center, my innermost core,

Completely relaxed, needing no more,

I connect with the Mother who gave birth to it all,

As in the silence I hear her call

– Kaypacha Lescher

With the Sun and Moon in Cancer, the sign of the nurturing Mother (and the signs of communication, thoughts and perceptions – Mercury – and action, determination – Mars – as well), there can be experiences coming up from your own childhood. Neptune is also in a watery sign (Pisces) and asks us to go deep down into our emotions. Painful memories as seen from a child’s perspective could emerge from the depths. You may remember experiences connected to loneliness, emotional betrayal or neglect, not being cared for, not receiving the nurturing you needed so desperately as a child.

I was just watching Kaypacha’s video for this week and it made me think about my own experiences and how I try to navigate them.

Sometimes we know why we didn’t receive it and we understand. But usually we don’t, it’s simply not possible for a child to comprehend the struggles of adults, because children live from their Soul and are much more connected to the Source energy and most adults live their lives completely conditioned and conventional. It’s often hard to put it into words because of the timing of the experiences. A very young child isn’t verbal and therefore as an adult you have difficulties vocalising the memories. Sometimes it is just a strong emotion presenting itself and not so easy to understand with our rational, logical minds.

When you act out towards people who are in your adult life (Mercury and Mars will tempt you to!) when reliving your inner child’s perspective you will relive your childhood in the present moment and the pattern will never be broken. Instead of acting on it, acknowledge that it’s there and let go. You are able to choose to nurture and care for yourself now. You are able to decide to see someone to get the help you need or to vocalise your needs to your partner, friends, family, co-workers. When you are able to sit with whatever you are feeling, you can make a choice in what to do with it.

Remember that the Mother is always with and within you. When you are completely silent, you can hear your Soul’s calling, it will tell you what you really need and you will be able to make choices that truly nurture you.

Summer Solstice

June 21st marks the Summer Solstice in the Northern hemisphere. It’s the day in the wheel of the year that is known for its shortest night and longest day. I have always been attracted to Summer Solstice, or Litha as the pagan traditions call this day, because I was born on the Winter Solstice, Yule. Something always keeps me yearning for summer and warmth.

On the Summer Solstice we celebrate the highest point of the Sun, we can feel the energy rising of the masculine life force. After this day the days will be getting shorter so this is truly a time to celebrate life and abundance.

Some Summer Solstice celebration ideas

• Go outside very early on the morning of the 21st (or a day before or after, what suits you better), and watch the light of the Sun return. It’s a magical scene, to see nature rise and awaken to the first rays of sunlight. Make sure you are outside at least an hour prior to sunrise, to see the light returning slowly. For most of us in the Northern hemisphere this can be quite early! I will be going to a nearby lake at 4.30 a.m., sunrise is at 5.20 a.m.
• Light a fire at dusk to celebrate the longest day, invite some friends over. Write down the things you want to transform or the abundance you want to bring into your life on a piece of paper, decorate it with drawings and throw it into the fire. Dance around the fire together, sing along with a guitar if you’re lucky to have a friend who plays it, have fun and celebrate.
• Jump over the smothering charcoal like my kids do in Waldorf school, see how daring you are! (Always make sure the flames are out and that you are wearing closed sturdy shoes and nonflammable clothing!! Be careful!)
• Pick seasonal flowers and decorate your home and your sacred space (altar or corner where you keep treasures and pictures of loved ones) with it.
• Gather herbs and flowers that you can dry to use as potpourri or smudging herbs later in the year.
• Create a mandala with yellow and orange flower petals.

Picture from Pinterest

• Meditate on the Summer Solstice and make it your own special celebration of Life. Feel the warmth of the Sun on your skin, be grateful for the Light that is there every morning when we wake up. Let this Light move into every cell of your body and feel how it invigorates and energises you.

A fish on land

Fish on land do not live a healthy and prosperous life. When out of the water they desperately try to crawl back into the stream. That’s their nature, their reflex. A fish’s body knows what to do when placed on land, although it has little brain to think about it extensively.

We humans have a problem. It is called ‘the mind’. And we tend to overrate it immensely.

Humans consist of multiple energy layers, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body. The mental body (mind) is only one of them. We are usually not aware of this, discerning the layers one by one takes time, practice and awareness of the way the layers communicate.

In our hectic, modern, day-to-day lives, we don’t have the time to be present and listen to the different layers. We only listen to our mind, our thoughts. Planning and orchestrating our daily activities, monthly plans and year-ahead-project schedules.

Being only one of the layers, the mind is trying to steal the show for the others layers. They don’t get enough air time (it’s funny that thoughts are associated with the element air…). Moreover, the layers are connected to each other. Our thoughts are connected to our emotions, we feel sad when we think sad thoughts and we think negative when we are feeling down. We decide to skip lunch because of a meeting we have and we completely ignore the signs of our physical layer that it needs to be nourished. The mind constantly tries to control our emotions and our bodies in order to survive and make rational decisions. This ability of the mind gives us tremendous power in structuring our lives and inspired humanity in achieving great technological advances. The downside is that we think our mind is superior. We let the fish think about its strategy to much.

To be aligned or not to be aligned… that’s the question

You have probably heard of the newest buzz word in town that seems to be the solution to every single problem, and the answer to every failure.

— ALIGNMENT—

The truth is, bad things don’t happen because we are not ‘aligned’. That’s a weird way of looking at life. We are trying to make the best of our lives and sometimes we fail, falter, meet roadblocks or life is getting in the way of your plans, because you get sick, or there is some major life event happening for you. It’s not that we can avoid all sources of pain. It teaches us what we need to know to evolve.

So when you hear something like “Oh, you didn’t succeed in your project? It must have been misaligned with your true calling.” please let it go immediately. Because this way of looking at alignment sounds ridiculous and remarks like above are not helpful at all.

However, there is a true part to being misaligned and the blockages in life. As I was living a severely misaligned life for a long time I experienced a lot of extremely hard situations, which I didn’t quite understand because I was constantly trying to work hard, do my best and make the best decisions I could possibly think of. However, things went awry and the last 3 years everything came down crashing down around me, relationship, work, everything at the same time. The only way to get through this mess (I thought) was to continue my old coping strategies of thinking things through, making lists, and fighting for a good outcome. Although I felt like I was doing the right things, and moving forward, the only thing that could make it all better was not holding on to striving and fighting the situations I was in, but letting go. I had to steer myself away from the things that were holding me back.

To find out whether you are in alignment click here. New subscribers to Elemental Life Lines will receive a download link to the e-book.

Letting go sounds so easy. “Just let go and everything will work out fine!”

Well, eh… letting go isn’t an easy thing to do, because it isn’t an active verb, let alone the fear that comes along with it. When your life isn’t working out while you are busy planning, deciding, organising and coping, the scariest step to take is to let it all go. That’s just not  something  your mind can do actively – ah, well today I’m just gonna let it all go – that’s just not how it works. The more you want to let go, the harder it gets, the more anxious you get. That’s because ego wants to protect you and gets in the way. It starts screaming in your ear that you can’t, shouldn’t, all will go down in flames, and so on. It’s makes it impossible to hear the whispers of your heart, or to understand your gut’s language of intuition. The only thing you listen to is the fear, the scary thoughts and disastrous scenarios playing out in your head.

For me this wheel of negative thoughts, fear, obstacles, conflicts led to illness. My body started to protest, I became very tired and hyper at the same time, I couldn’t cycle without chest pain, I couldn’t breathe properly. My body was signaling to me that I had to change but I didn’t hear what it was saying. My body stopped me in my tracks by creating a situation which forced me out of it all. Because clearly, my mind/heart wasn’t going to take the steps.

There had been severe misalignment between my body, my mind, my heart and my Soul. Those are all different layers of our being and in order to be happy, healthy and fully functional as a human being they need to be aligned as much as possible. When we are tired, we need to rest. When we are hungry, we need to eat. When we are not hungry, we shouldn’t eat. This also means that when you are coping with chronic illness or a stressful situation you will have to align your plans, expectations and activities because there is a limitation somewhere in one of the layers. It sounds very simple but we’re largely overriding the signals in our modern lives. When we do that for a long time, one or more of the layers of our being will be complaining and acting up. We call this ‘symptoms’. We then start looking for a physical cause, but maybe it’s just a misalignment between the layers.

During recovery, I learned how to take care of my body and how to listen to it again. I had to reset myself and start from zero, bed rest in my case. And not beating myself up for being in this situation I created myself by pushing and striving and fighting. That took me a while to be honest, to let go of the fighting mindset, towards myself. Self care and compassion is the most important thing to do, especially when you are healing.

Letting go just happened. I don’t know when exactly.

She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…

~ excerpt of ‘She let go’ by Rev. Safire Rose

When I gave up fighting, stopped trying, took plenty of rest and healed my body, I truly allowed alignment to happen. The only way to do this is to listen to the signs of your layers and stop doing things that make you feel misaligned and miserable. If you check in with yourself daily, you will begin to notice. And then, one morning, you wake up, and you let go. Slowly, I began to feel subtle differences in what was working and what was going against the flow. My intuition began to show me the way. I felt overcome with joy, because I could see the light again at the end of the tunnel. In learning a new way of living, by listening and acting upon it, I ditched the old ways of being misaligned.

It’s not always easy and I still get sucked in by daily life but I am capable of pulling myself out of it. I recognise I’m not aligned anymore. For me that shows up as fatigue, tiredness, tension in my chest, breathing uneasy or just generally feeling ‘meh’ or emotionally dull. Noting this enables me to consciously make better decisions and take care of myself. I know it’s time to stop what I’m doing because I’m in a mode of striving instead of allowing, and it’s killing the flow of energy. And sometimes it just means going to bed at 8 pm to get some rest.

Do you want to find out more about your own state of alignment?

Click here to learn more about an e-book & worksheet I created on this topic: ‘How to live in Alignment’. It’s free for newsletter subscribers.

 

Paradigm

Apart from some traumatic events that were quite raw or graphic in nature, there were a few other pivotal moments in my years of medical training that I remember vividly. One of those moments was a lecture on Ethics and Philosophy in my second year of MedSchool which was considered extremely boring by my peers, and to be honest, I thought it was pretty dull too. It was about the role of science in medicine.

*yawn*

Until an unfamiliar word was mentioned. Although I consider myself having a large vocabulary, I had never heard it before. As the Ethics professor spoke on the topic he used the word paradigm.

I believe the context was something like this: “Science as we know it has it’s rules, regulations and guidelines to ensure that what is discovered matches the idea of science itself, which is that the truth only exists when we can prove it, using those rules, regulations and guidelines. When we are not able to prove something, or when we can prove it but it doesn’t match the rules, it therefore can’t be proven. That is the paradigm of science. If we think about the fact that paradigms can change, it is foreseeable that science as we know it, will someday become obsolete, or at least challenged to a large extend.”

(păr′ə-dīm′, -dĭm′)

n.

1. One that serves as a pattern or model.

2. A set or list of all the inflectional forms of a word or of one of its grammatical categories: the paradigm of an irregularverb.

3. A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline.

This woke me up in a second. What if everything we were taught could change when the rules changed? I couldn’t wrap my head around it but this concept of changing paradigms stayed with me over the years. Later, when I was working in science, doing research, reading and writing articles, and people around me were arguing the relevance of their research or trying to convince (or destroy) others with their point of view, it helped me to see the bigger picture. It gave me the perspective and the ability to see science (and ‘truth’ for a lot of colleagues) for what it was: a temporary set of rules we were working in agreement with, until it changed. It made life as a PhD researcher a whole lot easier.

At this moment in history we live in a world of environmental, economical, political and humanitarian crisis. We see old systems fail. Global warming due to the excessive and disproportionate use of fossil fuels requires investment in sustainable energy sources. The financial system is still trying to overcome the inflation of loans and credits leaving people and organisations bankrupt. Politics is heavily influenced by money and power and lost the connection with the people and core values entirely. While globalisation happened and planes can fly us everywhere, we face the largest refugee crisis on the planet. The call for a paradigm change is everywhere. The old systems are dying and we need new structures to be able to continue the evolution of humanity. Today I read about this word ‘paradigm’ every other day, it seems. We need a new paradigm and it’s already happening.

This is also the case in healthcare. People are getting older, but not always healthier or enjoying more quality of life. We have technology to ‘fix’ a lot of diseases but it doesn’t heal people. We are so disconnected from nature and from our own bodies that we do the wrong things, the things that make us sick, and we forgot how to heal ourselves. Healthcare professionals are trying the best they can, with limited resources, with ever more patients to treat, with less budget from the insurance companies or governments, and the ideological drive of ‘helping people’ or ‘healing others’ is worn out, leading to massive amounts of care providers with burnout, mental illness like depression, PTSD, anxiety, addictions and even suicide. We need to acknowledge that the current healthcare system is failing, in order to find other ways. The paradigm needs to shift.

There are many layers of human existence that we are just beginning to understand. Intuition, energy fields, energy systems in the body. Research in the field of quantum physics is showing us that the the concepts of energy and matter, consciousness and manifestation are connected. Concepts the ancient Eastern doctors, yogis and shamans of the world already knew about thousands of years ago. Ideas and techniques that were abandoned and destroyed, because the patriarchal societal structures of ancient Greece, and later the Abrahamic religions like Christianity and Islam, were threatened by the innate power these concepts provided to every human being. Submission was forced upon the people, in order to control them for the sake of money and power. And it made humanity ill. In lots of ways. We need the old ways of healing back desperately. Knowledge of herbs, energy healing, mediation, shamanic journeying, the body-mind connection, spiritual healing, the power of intention and manifestation (‘magic’). Not to go back in time, today it’s needed for progress and evolution. Western medicine has brought us so many technological and biological progress, if we are able to connect that to the field of energy, quantum physics and natural healing this will lead to a huge step in the evolution of medicine and healthcare.

I’m looking forward to it, I’m convinced it will come in the next 50 years. The paradigm is changing. And it’s changing fast.

Spring Equinox!

After weeks, months of purging and shedding layers of old cluttered emotional bagage and dusty stories about ourselves and our lives it is now time to let your new Self emerge. The lunar and solar eclipses enabled us all in seeing old patterns, to unearth what was hidden in order for us to release it. Layer by layer we were able to pull the blinds and see ourselves for what we truly are. No we didn’t find the ugly core of truth we were expecting. The ones who really dug deep found a gem. A brilliant shining crystal radiating the love and light of our true Self.

And today a new year starts. It’s the Spring Equinox (in the Northern Hemisphere). Use this day for cleaning your house, your sacred space and wipe away the last cobwebs of lingering lies.

We can start anew. Don’t look back. Mother Nature never looks back. She just grows new flowers on top of the rubble. Let your roots grow deep into the Earth, stabilise and balance yourself in the energy of equal day and night. Let the seeds sprout and grow towards the light of the Sun, the powerful rays will energise your plans and kickstart them. Be clear and focused in your intentions for the coming year, spring (plans), summer (growth), autumn (harvest), winter (rest). What do you want to bring to fruition? Put your passion into it and you will be amazed what comes your way.

My Soul Returning

There is something I want to share with you, a beautiful but strange experience I’ve never had and I don’t have a clue what it was. I can only share what happened.

Last September, I had to have emergency surgery. Although I am a doctor myself and knew what was going to happen, I was naturally upset and stressed. I was absolutely sure I didn’t want to receive any opioids (morphine-like substances) so I told about everyone who came near to me prior to the procedure. While I was induced the anesthesiologist said: “We will see what we are going to do about the opioids. I wasn’t able to talk anymore and protest, and the last thing I remember was her saying that I went into cardiac arrhythmia.

When I woke up I was sedated with opioids. I felt very violated. The rest of that night I suffered from severe tachycardia (speeding heart) until the early morning hours.

After surgery, I wasn’t recovering. I felt completely exhausted, and severe burnout was diagnosed. I was so tired, I couldn’t walk, talk or sometimes even breathe. At one moment I felt so lifeless, I thought that I might be dying. The thought somehow didn’t scare me, and that realization scared me the most. I was literally left without any life energy in my body.

In the weeks after I suffered from tachycardia a few times, every time it started while I was resting. I was taken to the hospital and they couldn’t find the cause, other than probably stress. The cardiologist and I figured it was probably a common stress-induced re-entry tachycardia. Nothing too worrying. At least, I felt at ease with it.

Fast forward to a few weeks later. I was slowly recovering and felt a bit more energized. One night I was in my bed and my heart began racing again. I decided not to fight it or focus on my breathing. Instead, I focussed on my heartbeat, racing at 160 bpm. Suddenly I felt very sad and anxious. When I focussed on those emotions, I suddenly sensed something in the room. It was at my right side, near the window. I couldn’t really understand what it was at first but after a while, I started sensing that it was related to me somehow. I asked it to come closer and then I suddenly realized it was my Soul… I don’t know how, I just knew, with absolute certainty. I was crying and telling Her that it was safe now. That the threats were over, that my body was safe now. And right after that, I felt a shift, my Soul entered my body in my heart space. It was a violent motion but without pain and immediately after my heart stopped racing and a very calm and peaceful feeling came over me. I held my heart for a bit and drifted away into a deep dreamless sleep.

I am still speechless about what happened and have no clue. I don’t even have the right words to search for similar experiences on the internet. To me, it was like my Soul entering my body after a few weeks of absence. I think She left me right before surgery, feeling very threatened as my body was abused, cut, taken over by medication and pain. Since Her return, I didn’t experience any more arrhythmia episodes. I feel my energy coming back and my compass isn’t spinning anymore.

I never thought this would be possible. I have read about dissociative disorders/phenomena and I’m familiar with gentle dissociation myself as a coping mechanism. But this was different. It reminded me of Outer Body Experiences (OBE) but then consciousness travels away, to a place somewhere outside the body. In my case, I (my consciousness awareness) was still in my body but instead, my Soul had left…

I’m really glad She is back to guide me. She is my connection to the Universe, to the Energy of Life. I can’t live without Her. I nearly died while She was away.

Do you have similar experiences? Please share! I’d like to hear about it.

Re-rediscovery

A spiritual awakening often happens in the form of our Soul recognising and remembering our true purpose. The reason why we are here (on Earth), what we are here for. After reading Rebecca Campbell’s ‘Light is the New Black’ and ‘Rise Sister Rise’ I re-rediscovered my Soul. I say re-rediscovered on purpose because it is the second time this happened to me (in this human form).

The first time was when I was about 27 years old. As I was waiting for my train to arrive in a bookstore at the train station, my eye caught a book that I just had to buy. Which is kind of special because although I read everything I could get my hands on as a kid, since I turned 18 I didn’t ever touch a book to read for pleasure (only college books for Med School). And suddenly I bought this book for some reason. It was called ‘Book of Shadows’ by Phyllis Curott and it was my initiation into the Sacred Feminine. I couldn’t stop reading, it was like coming home to myself. This is who I truly am, I thought with every page I turned. So that was my first spiritual awakening. Being brought up with christianity it was very confusing to find that the true me was not spiritual in a christian, monotheistic way, but to learn that Divinity lies in each one of us. That we are part of the Universe and have the power to change things.

At the time I was in the midst of my medical/scientific career, I was surrounded by the patriarchal system of healthcare and science and everyone around me had some kind of scepticism towards everything not ‘evidence-based’. A term used by scientists to indicate that something is likely to be true or not, related to the amount of evidence existing and the quality of the underlying research done to draw conclusions from. Obviously, to the standards of the scientific paradigm (which is a topic I was fascinated by since early med school, my favorite topic was Philosophy and Ethics). Anyway, not the environment to talk about metaphysical manifestation (or ‘magic’), herb lore, chakras or energy fields. So I didn’t share my reclaimed Self with my colleagues, family or friends. And as time progressed, I was sucked back into my work (although I quit research, and clinical health care because I felt so out of place). I didn’t listen to the voice within. I became a mother and daily routine asked for my attention. In my new job I was trying to fix things, operational improvement mainly, so in a way I was still a doctor, a healer, but nothing changed really. For me at least. I felt completely empty, and drained, and steered into full blown burn-out. Because I didn’t listen.

Twelve years after my first awakening, I realised I was so un-aligned for so long. Constantly fighting, unsure where I was going, just following assignments, expectations, old patterns and doing things I didn’t want to do. As a Capricorn I am very dedicated, determined, striving for excellence and strong but I put all of my efforts towards the wrong things. It almost wiped me out. Everything around me came crumbling down. I tried to hold everything together, but I was compromising myself, and in the end there was so little space left for my Soul that I was barely able to breathe. I was exhausted, panicking, contracted, plaqued by arrhythmia, drowning. And that was the moment when I got my hands on ‘Light is the New Black’. It was coming home to myself all over again.

What I needed to to was finding my true Soul again and only doing what truly lights me up. That would lead me towards my calling, and effortless living. The minute I realised that, I gave myself permission to let go of everything that is not me. Old patterns, external and internal expectations and everything that makes me feel contracted, or tense. And I could breathe again.

I am now a few weeks back on the road to recovery. It’s a journey to feel alignment in my being, follow my Soul’s calling, my inner voice, doing the things that light me up. Not the things I like or want, but the things that really make me shine again. So I can share my Light with others. And be of service to the world. I always felt that I had to be part of something bigger. I had to re-rediscover it.